Something’s got to give.

A planted seed is buried and watered. Softening, it splits open to allow the shoot of new growth to come through. If that seed stays closed, it produces no life.

We dream about all the positive things around growth and long for positive outcomes. It is our nature to grow. But, it’s not always comfortable. Growth changes us.

On the journey to becoming unoffendable, expect life to burst through somewhere.

It might change your relationships, your body, your mindset, your emotions, or spiritual awareness. But somehow, somewhere, something’s got to give.

That early period when you’re softening is fragile, any growth could be crushed. But, as any gardener will tell you, the excitement in watching growth happen is worth the waiting and watering of the early days.

Relationships

John Maxwell in his leadership teaching shares his father’s advice: “Believe in people, value people and love unconditionally”.

Valuing others and allowing them to be themselves changes relationships. As you get better at reacting and responding well, your growth becomes obvious. The relationship will adapt.

Body

As you stop carrying offence in the same way, your body may even thank you for it. In our busy world, the effect of stress on the body is well documented. 

“Stress affects all systems of the body.”

American Psychological Associaton

Reducing stress may benefit your body. Of course this looks different for everyone, but the potential is there.  

Mindset

Growth requires you to think bigger. Focusing on that one moment or one situation that caused your pain narrows your mindset.

How can you grow your perspective beyond where it’s stuck? Perhaps it’s asking a simple question like: What was going on for the other person that day? Learning their back story might change your perspective.

Years ago, a member of my family was offended because I didn’t pack his favourite sleeping bag for a camp. When he discovered that I thought that sheets were more practical because his leg was in a cast, he relented. He reasoned that I was trying to help, even though I hadn’t run it by him first.

Patrick Miller and Keith Simon’s Truth over Tribe addresses the issue of small thinking by encouraging us to view ourselves in a larger context. When we define commonality with a very small group, our natural instinct is to exclude others that are not of our tribe. The premise of increasing our perspective is valuable, especially in today’s divided world.

Emotions

Carrying offense affects our emotions. The weight of a grudge gets heavy. Letting offence go literally takes a load off. Imagine walking through your day without a grudge holding you down. Reducing negative emotions improves our day. Positive interactions are even better. There are nuances where trauma is involved, but, there is wonderful breakthrough when patterns of offense give way to forgiveness.

Henry W. Wright in his book A More Excellent Way to be in Health wrote a fabulous section on how our negative emotions naturally progress down an ever increasing spiral. The only way that I can see to get off the negative spiral is to forgive. Sometimes we need help with that step.

Spiritual Awareness

Sometimes we can’t do it on our own. That’s where spiritual awareness comes to the fore. If you’ve got to the end of your own resources you know what I mean. If not, be grateful. It is a confronting place to be.

It might be that you grow in the area of spiritually on this journey. The shell that you are surrounded by might just soften and break open enough for something new and beautiful to grow.

That might seem scary, it might seem farfetched. That’s okay, growth is uncomfortable.  

Who knows where growth will present itself in your life? It might change your relationships, your body, your mindset, your emotions, or spiritual awareness. But somehow, somewhere, there will be a shift as you walk the journey of becoming unoffendable.

There are no guarantees on this journey that we won’t hurt. But the changes that come as we choose to live unoffended are worth it.

Hopefully the shell that has kept us safe while we are dormant will soften and allow life to spring forth. To stay closed is to withhold life.

My challenge to you this week is simple. Notice. Notice what makes your stomach knot. Notice who sets you off. Notice what offends you. But don’t stop there. See if you can think of a way to see it differently.

I’m not asking you to solve the issue or even to let it go. See if you can soften enough to consider something new and observe how you respond.