A baker proudly opens the oven and steam rushes out to meet them. Momentarily, they’re distracted because they can’t see; their glasses have fogged up. Baking forgotten, they remove their glasses, wipe the lenses and replace them before proceeding to retrieve the tasty morsels they’ve created.
In a case of sudden-onset fogginess, the issue is clear and the remedy, swift.
When we are confronted with an event and it blindsides us, that’s opening the oven door. There is a rush of heat, we recoil if we’re too close and we forget whatever we were doing temporarily while we try and clear our mind. Some people figuratively leave their glasses on and sit, feeling foggy, disillusioned, stuck, or incapacitated, like their feet have been knocked out from under them. Eventually, the moisture on their figurative glasses forms droplets and streaks on the lens. Now they can see a little, they can function in part, but the impact of the heat remains, ever before them.
Painful experiences can sit with us indefinitely if we don’t take off our glasses and clean our lenses.
This experience is clear to the person impacted by the heat and often, to onlookers. That person, capable and mid-activity, suddenly loses their focus, loses their ability to continue what they were doing, ceases to function as they did before.
It may be that they experience steam-burn. There are many factors that come into play when there is a sudden blast of heat. If they are burnt, there is a wound to tend and that takes priority over clearing their lens. Once that wound is tended however, they clean their glasses so the impact of the steam doesn’t continue to hinder them in other areas.
When it’s a metaphor, it’s obvious how to handle the situation. But, add emotion, pain, fear of it happening again, uncertainty, and the person who encountered the steam doesn’t always see a clear path forward.
Shame can enter the picture and make the person feel like they need to hide the situation, justify themselves or tell themselves off. Shame sits on the lens; it fogs the view. Without cleansing the lens, it is all that the person will see. Others won’t see it that way, from their perspective the story is different.
So many people walk around wounded. They had an ‘open the oven door’ moment, but they didn’t tend their wounds nor clean their glasses.
If that is you, please know that it is a natural response to recoil from that moment. It did impact you. If you got hurt, you will take time to heal. But please don’t sit down without tending your wounds. Tend to them, or if they’re too much for you or in hard-to-reach places, seek help.
Please don’t try and continue with business as usual when your glasses are still steamed up. Take time to wipe your lenses with the good stuff, not the wipes that smear, scratch or disintegrate. If you have to go hunting for the good stuff, it’s worth it. Get a fresh perspective, allow the steam to clear. Deal with the suddenly. It may have lasting consequences, but you don’t have to get stuck where it took place.
We live at the beach. When a storm blows through, it leaves salt residue on our windows. Because of that residue, we clean the windows regularly. Perhaps you’ve experienced something similar in a house near a road or a building site.
The buildup of residue is less confronting than a burst of steam from an oven. Residue builds upon itself and can seem inconsequential at first; we get used to it. Eventually though, we get to the point that we want to look at something through the window, and we realise that we don’t actually have a clear view.
That might look like small offences building up until we realise that there is a barrier between us and our friend. Perhaps we just realise that we don’t like this person anymore. Is it really that? Or are we trying to see them through a pile of resentment that has fogged our perspective of them? Are we actually seeing them for who they are? Chances are, we’re not seeing the full picture. We’re seeing them through our own lens.
We all see things differently. There is a 200ml glass with 100ml of water inside. One person sees a drink. Another sees not-enough-for-a-drink. Someone else sees the next ingredient for their recipe. Someone else sees the glass waiting for their dentures. Another person takes a mouthful and swishes it around in their mouth. One person sees disappointment that the water wasn’t juice. Another person stands a dirty paintbrush in the water while someone else uses it to stand a freshly picked flower.
You see what you wire your brain to see. If you are a complainer, you see something to complain about. If you are a worrier, you see something that worries you. If you protect yourself, you see red flags. If you carry offence, you see offensive behaviour. If you are a cleaner, you see a mess to clean up. If you are a builder, you see a project. If you are an artist, you see inspiration. If you are a fixer, you start planning. If you love beauty, you notice the plain areas and imagine how you could bring beauty there. If you value people, flawed, just like you, you search for the value tucked away amidst the muck.
That person may be the source of the residue you’ve allowed to build up, but that doesn’t capture the fullness of who that person is. When you take a fresh look, you may find information that helps you to see things differently.
For that reason, it is good to pause from time to time and allow ourselves to reset; cleanse our cognitive clutter.
Sleep is one way that our bodies clear mental or emotional clutter. How is your sleep? Does your body get to clear out yesterday’s residue before it wakes to a new morning? Do you know how to bring things to a conclusion, or do you have waves of salt spray constantly clouding your view?
Do you forgive others when they hurt you or do you keep a tally? How could you clear the tally and choose to look at them a different way?
What fogs up your lens? How will you approach cleansing the residue?
We all experience storms. Every day, things happen that impact the way we see things. We can choose to ignore those things or wash off the effects and restore our vision.
Some days, bigger things unfold that by their very nature, force us to stop in our tracks. Those things become a part of our story. They can be painful chapters, they can change our direction, but we don’t have to get stuck there. There is a way forward. If you feel stuck, reach out for help. Others may help in ways that you can’t do for yourself.
We all experience foggy lenses from time to time. Lenses become dirty or fogged up with very little effort. The question becomes, are we people who clean our lenses regularly and keep a clear view, or do we allow the residue to build up to the point that we can’t see beyond our lens? Either way, may I encourage you to cleanse your lens this week.
