It’s leaking!

We have a new heat pump. It’s been working beautifully for months as we’ve been using it to warm the room. Last week my husband set it on dehumidify mode overnight. The next morning, he found a puddle about 2 metres round that saturated the carpet beneath the unit and started to soak up into the wood of the shelving unit.

We sopped up the bulk of the puddle with old towels and set the dehumidifier going again with a bucket to catch the drip. We regularly emptied the bucket of water and the carpet dried out.

The heat pump worked fine when it was heating the room, but when it got switched to a more challenging function a problem appeared; it wasn’t draining.

Heat pumps are a cheap way to heat a room. Your power bill stays low and the space stays warm.

Change a heat pump to air conditioning mode (dehumidifying mode), and suddenly your power bill spikes. That pump is working hard to cool the air.

When things are going well, our issues stay beneath the surface. We can function and interact with others and all seems smooth. Tiredness might make us a little grumpy, stress might make us a little sharp, but when we have processes in place to deal with those things, we get on with life. It’s like hearing the heat pump unit go on and off – others can see that we’re having to work on our stuff from time to time, but we’re designed to do that, we still function.

Add health issues, grief, trauma or things outside of our control and suddenly what’s on the inside of us gets tested. We flick into a mode where we have to work harder to function and if our processes are intact, we will still be able to do so. But, if a few parts aren’t connected properly, then we start leaking our stuff onto others.

This might look like control, manipulation, anger, victim mentality, entitlement, any number of things that might surface and impact our family, our friends, our workmates, our clients or our neighbours.

In a professional setting, a social worker could start pushing their preferred outcome rather than supporting their client.

At home, someone could use angry outbursts to get their own way.

If we leak when we’re trying to help others in a difficult circumstance, we can both help and create a problem at the same time.

The dehumidifier was doing its job, it was sucking the moisture out of the air; but it was also creating a puddle on the floor. It was never going to succeed in drying the space because it was creating moisture as it went.

When we try and help someone and we are dumping our stuff on them at the same time, we’re not going to make the progress that we hoped. We are cleaning up a mess and simultaneously making another one. It’s a demoralising spiral. ‘I help, but I only make things worse…’, have you ever thought that before? I have.

Imagine helping or interacting with others and actually making progress – achieving what you set out to do – without creating a new issue.

I called the heat pump guy and we checked a few things via video call before he concluded that the pipe wasn’t connected properly inside the pump. He needs to come and fix it.

The dehumidifier is supposed to collect water, that is a normal part of the process. The water is supposed to flow outside through a pipe. We checked the pipe, there was no blockage.

Our pipe leads to a garden that will benefit from the water when we cool the room on a hot day.

The benefit of dealing with your stuff may be finding a new hobby or doing regular exercise and, of course, that the leak is dealt with!

We can check whether our outlets are blocked – do you usually go for a walk or a run to process things and you’ve let that slip? How do you let out your pressure?

Perhaps your outlet works, but your processes don’t create a flow.

We all have pressures that build up. If we have a process to get them out in a healthy way, we won’t leak on those around us. If our internal processes are broken, we must fix them to stop the leak.

We can mop up with old towels or collect the drips in a bucket, but those things don’t fix the problem. We may need to get help.

For some, this means prayer to heal the parts of us that are separated or broken.

For others, it means walking alongside a mentor, counsellor, psychologist or other professional to identify where our gaps are and connect them into place.

The heat pump worked fine when it was heating the room. It was under pressure that the leak appeared; the pipe was disconnected all along. Now that we know it’s disconnected, we can fix it.

It can be a really big deal in our heads to stop our leaks. The reality is that if we face our stuff, it is often resolvable.

If you’ve got a leak, make the call. Your appointment might not be until the new year, but it’s only a call and you can do that; then things will be underway.

Pray the prayer; inviting God into the situation only takes a moment, but he will begin healing those deep parts of you.

We are coming up to a time of year that we’re around friends, family and colleagues who might need support or create challenging situations for us to deal with. Let’s use this period to check that we’re not leaking onto our families. It might make for a Christmas period with less mess to clean up afterward.

I must admit that I took a whole week to call the heat pump guy. It wasn’t that hard, but it took me a few days to build up to it. At first, I didn’t have his number. Then I did have his number, but I didn’t get around to calling.

This morning, with the pipe exposed outside and some people coming to sow grass seed, I needed to know whether to leave the pipe accessible or whether I could cover it up and allow the grass seed to get sown over the top.

I called, he assessed the different parts and decided that he needs to come and fix it. He’s coming tomorrow.

Why did I take so long to call him? As is common to so many of us in dealing with our stuff, it took a time crunch to force me to action. I used today’s pressure to my advantage.

Let’s take advantage of the time pressures that we find ourselves in; seize the end of year season and festivities as catalysts to deal with our stuff.

Make a start, take the first step and may you have less leaks to deal with as Christmas arrives.