DNA is like a file on a computer. Our DNA carries record of family traits, family attitudes, family tendencies, then adds our experiences and patterns and keeps them all neatly stored away. Some files sit there until we retrieve them or specific circumstances activate them. Others run in the background, working behind the scenes, using up energy or slowing us down and we don’t even know that they’re active.
Three signals that you need to clean up the files on your computer are: it’s taking longer and longer to boot-up, your computer is running slower than usual, and you are getting error messages. There’s some wisdom there for us.
When you’re on a computer, a good maintenance routine is to regularly close the tabs you’re not using. A newer computer can handle the load, but over time, as more information is saved, the computer slows.
When things are left undone or unspoken, your brain runs them on loop as a helpful reminder. When you have a loop running, full of unfinished tasks, it feels stressful. Things are not necessarily stressful – any of those items individually might be easy, but maintaining the loop and running them past you every few moments is what an open file running in the background on a computer looks like.
If you notice something on the floor and you think ‘I should pick that up’, but you don’t because you don’t have time? That is a signal that there are too many programs running. Every time you walk past, you’ll notice it and tell yourself off for walking past it. But you can’t bring yourself to pick it up because there’s something more pressing on your mind. I walked past those things all the time. I couldn’t find the headspace to deal with them.
Then one day I observed a friend walking down her hall and picking up things as she went. Mind blown. I didn’t know that was possible. How did she have the headspace for that? The difference it made on the feel of the hallway was amazing. And simple.
I had too many files open. All. The. Time.
Just this week I noticed a dead bug on the floor. I walked past it a couple of times before I dealt with it. I knew that it was going to sit in the background whirring in my brain until I put it in the bin. I dealt with it and closed that tab. It ceased to occupy space in my mind.
I saw something online recently and shared it with a friend who wasn’t sleeping much at night. She tried it and it made a significant difference. Apologies, I don’t remember the source, but if it helps someone, I’d rather share it.
It was a reel about the practices of those in the military after they’ve been in a stressful situation. They clean their weapons and go through a series of disciplines that we recognise but don’t realise the reasons behind them. This reel suggested that their disciplines are really about doing three things: Closing the loop, activating muscles, creating a schedule.
Closing the loop – closing the tab. When things are going around and around in our heads, we’re constantly ‘on’. We’re not designed to be constantly on. How could you find a way to close off the things that keep whirring in your head? Is it writing your unfinished tasks on a list so you don’t have to rehearse them over and over in your mind, so you don’t forget them tomorrow? Is it blitzing something so it’s not sitting in the background anymore? Is it letting go of a hurt that runs and reruns through your imagination? What discipline could you make a part of your life that enables you to regularly close your loops?
The next thing it talked about was activating lactic acid – holding a wall squat to get your muscles burning. I don’t remember why it mentioned lactic acid specifically, but certainly movement and exercise releases feel-good hormones to counter stress hormones. Could you fit regular exercise or stretching into your routine?
The last one was creating a schedule. A regular bedtime, a regular morning start. Our bodies adapt to changing seasons – the four seasons, or seasons of life; but what certainties can it rely on? Do you use routine as a foundation, or do you react to stimulus from the moment you wake to the moment your head hits the pillow? To be constantly reacting is to be constantly on alert – this reeks of stress. What can your body rely on? Is it regular mealtimes? A regular pattern on your day off? Find somewhere that you can create a routine, so your body knows what is coming and it feels safe.
If you’re taking longer and longer to boot-up, running slower than usual, or getting error messages, perhaps it is time to clean up your system. Defragmentation is the process of reorganising fragmented data on a storage device, improving access speed and system performance.
Perhaps the issue is too many files open, perhaps there are programs running from your family line that you aren’t even aware of, perhaps you have a pattern hardwired into you that needs reprogramming. What reorganisation do you need?
When we spring clean our thinking, we often look at our own stuff, our own patterns. But there is more to us than our own habits and preferences. There may be things handed down to you that shape the way you respond. You assume they’re a part of who you are because they seem so normal.
One day I only ate a peach and a piece of cake in the middle of the day. The sugar set off a cascade of mood swings and emotions and for the first time, I realised that certain moods I thought were normal were actually a direct result of what I ate.
There are things you think are normal that other people purposely avoid for their own wellbeing. You probably aren’t aware of them, nor their effects on you, but all of us have stuff in the background shaping how we live. Sometimes we need to deal with them.
The benefit of a computer is that a computer does not have to be static. A computer can receive updates, system upgrades, new data, even a new processor. Just because you deal with things a certain way doesn’t mean you are stuck there.
What simple thing will you deal with this week to lessen the load on your system? One thing. It can make all the difference.
