Speak life

In kiwi culture, we often speak sarcastically, meaning the opposite of what we say and not saying what we mean. Those from other cultures often don’t understand sarcasm and it can lead to some confusing conversations. But it goes deeper. Our subconscious doesn’t comprehend sarcasm either. When we go around speaking sarcastically, we can confuse ourselves and end up with the opposite of what we were trying to achieve. We think that we’re being funny. That is not necessarily the case.

I encourage you to pause for a minute and try something out with me.

I could say, “I have to put the rubbish out,” or I could frame it differently, “I get to put the rubbish out.” Reframing this way is a little trick that I learnt from Dr Libby years ago. Imagine that it is your rubbish day and try saying these two phrases. Which feels better? I’m guessing it’s that you get to put the rubbish out.

Let’s take a look at our words. When we speak life it changes our perspective, releases creativity and carries influence.

Did you notice the shift in perspective from having to put the rubbish out to getting to do it? Suddenly the fact that we have our rubbish collected becomes something that we can be grateful for.  When you look for something to be thankful for, you will find it. If you’d like to speak life but you don’t know where to start, maybe a gratitude journal would help.

I have often been described as stubborn by family and by friends. One friend recently reframed that as perseverance. I persevere. Just a couple of weeks ago, Brad, who runs the writing course that I completed through The Company said that it takes a certain level of stubbornness to complete a book manuscript. Well, yay! I am so stubborn, I persevered to the point of achieving that! Wahoo!!

Look for ways to change your perspective. I have to go to work vs. I get to go to work. I have to have this vs. I get to have this. I have to drop this off vs. I get to drop this off. One simple word change and you’ll notice a difference.

A few years ago I was listening to a conversation of a young husband and father who often worked late at a hospital and travelled as a speaker. He was explaining how he often prayed protection over his family but they never seemed to be moving forward, just making do. I asked him if he had thought to speak positive things over his family. He just looked at me. He was so focused on warding off anything negative, he hadn’t thought of releasing anything good.

Perhaps you are stuck in a cycle of expecting the negative and you have neglected the positive. What could you start speaking to bring life into your situation?

If you are feeling stressed, perhaps you could release peace with your words. If you need direction, you could release wisdom.

What encouragement could you release with your words to transform another person’s day?

There is a saying: “The mouth speaks what the heart is full of”. Listen to what comes out of your mouth and observe what is going on inside. Are your words bitter? Then your words are signalling the need for forgiveness. Do you talk about one thing over and over – that’s probably where your heart is right now. Your words give insight into what is going on for you. Listen and take the cues. You can process through what you’ve been speaking and change the direction of your heart.

When we choose to bring our words and actions into alignment it is weighty. Think of the words of someone in authority. Their words carry weight. What they speak either influences thinking or releases action. Each of us has influence in our own spheres. You have a measure of authority in your household, family, amongst friends or in a workplace or community group. How you speak matters.

I try to say what I mean and mean what I say. It took a bit of adjusting. I used to use sarcasm often. When I gave a heavy consequence to my children, I sometimes said, “I’m really sorry that I said this, but now I am following through on it.” They knew that I meant what I said.

On the other hand, I have had some amazing experiences because I had said that I would do something and so I felt compelled to make sure that it happened. When you follow through on your words and use them intentionally, you can persevere to do things that might have remained as dreams otherwise.

How do you follow through on what you say? Could you turn your dreams to reality by starting to get intentional with your words? I’m not really a goal person, but if an idea moves in my language from an idea to a statement – I am going to do this – then you can expect that I will follow through on it. Here are some examples: taking the entire family to live for four months in Peru in 2012, completing a 40 day fast in 2018, walking a 900km pilgrimage last year, writing a book, starting an online platform… I’ve known that I was going to do this for several years, I just didn’t know when or what it would be about – now I know.

I find the meanings of words fascinating. For example, the word incredible, broken down literally, means ‘without credibility’. I carefully consider my use of the word incredible now. Often I use the word amazing instead (unless of course, something really is incredible). When you speak the opposite of what you mean your words will confuse and not have the impact that you are after so choose your words well.

When you use words carefully and speak in keeping with your heart and intent, you will have an influence.

Listen to your words to learn more about yourself, use your words intentionally to make a difference.

So let’s take stock of our words. When we speak life it changes our perspective, releases creativity and carries influence.

Words used with intention to build someone up or to work towards something can have a powerful effect; just as words used to tear down can cause harm.

How do you speak? Is your habit to say things in jest and then assume that because you’re joking the words don’t count?

Take stock of your words. Listen to yourself. Are you speaking life? If not, try making a small positive change and see what starts to happen.