Monarchs and emperors often place their image on the things that have value in their society. Statues in prominent places, money and architecture are all likely places that you might find one. But, why might they do it? Is it all about ego? One alternative reason to create these images is to point people to them. If we weren’t reminded of who they are, we would easily forget. Those new to our shores might not recognise them at all at first. Over time, they begin to get familiar with the images and learn our stories. Even today many nations have images of monarchs or founders on our coins. **If this first paragraph has stirred you, I have added a note for you at the end.
We value others because every human being intrinsically holds value, because every individual has a purpose and because we can learn from others.
Valuing others is foundational because when we value someone else we might need to soften or change for their benefit. If I am ego-centric, and I don’t affirm the value that others carry, then I’m going to be less inclined to work things through. Everyone else must change for me.
But, if we look for the value in others and listen to their story, we can learn something of who they are and what has contributed to who they are today, making it easier for us to adapt to some of their needs.
I came across a statement that captured me a few weeks ago:
“You don’t give dignity to people, you affirm it.”
John M. Perkins
People hold value or they carry value just because they are. The creator made human beings in his image and if he was placing his image on things of value, it follows that people have value. People do not carry value because we place it on them. They do not carry value because we think that what they do is important. People do not carry value because they make a recognisable contribution. People carry value because they are made in the image of the creator and they offer a unique perspective of who he is.
Once, I picked up a couple of hitchhikers. I’d never done it before. There was a five hour drive to get home and I needed to stay awake. I needed someone to talk to. One of them had overcome addictions and had found God in the process. He wanted to talk about it. The other man was hostile to the idea of God, he would direct the conversation away from the topic any time it swung close. That was okay; we had amazing conversations that day. I was grateful that they kept me awake all the way home.
You might cringe at my reference to the creator. I’m okay with that. Even so, hopefully there are some nuggets here that you can take away, please don’t let a different perspective stop you from persevering on your journey.
For sure, we are all broken to varying degrees and not everything we do is valuable, in fact, sometimes we hurt others. But, who we are is valuable even when we make mistakes.
Every human being has a purpose. Realising this might be enough to free you from patterns of thinking that keep you stuck.
One of the fundamental questions of the human being is “What’s this life for?” We all wrestle with this question at some stage in our lives.
My observation is that often where someone receives the most pushback is the same area that carries their highest potential. Are you struggling with identity? Then there’s a really good chance that you carry a strength that will be honed through your challenges and you will be able to offer support for others one day. Seeing that end story is difficult in the midst of trials, but hang in there, you’re not finished yet! Persevere and allow yourself to learn and change through the process.
I used to think deep down that I was a mistake. I was a surprise child, born despite multiple obstacles and was bigger than most of my friends. But when I added purpose to my story, suddenly my story changed. I was born an overcomer with something unique to bring to the world. There was a reason that I was here. In saying that, I’m still not 100% sure what that reason is!
And that brings us to a third reason to value others. Because, whether that person is for us or against us, we can grow from the exchange. Sometimes it’s an unexpected nugget from a stranger, sometimes it’s profound wisdom from a friend. Sometimes we notice how empty words hurt and we determine to speak differently given a similar situation.
Even when we’re clashing with someone, we can hone our edges – sharper or softer depending on what we need.
When our children were young, I hung around a family that spoke positively to their children. I learnt a lot just by listening to how they interacted. Where I said “Don’t put your feet on the sofa”, this family said “Keep your feet on the floor.” I started to adjust my parenting right away.
Soon after this, we went for a family bike ride. Our youngest, four years old, started rolling down a hill on the farm track that had a big gauge diagonally down it from rain water runoff. He hadn’t really mastered using his brakes yet. Everything in me was screaming “Don’t fall off, don’t fall off!” I had visions of a bad fall with blood and bones and all sorts of nasties. But, I had learnt from this other family. I shouted to him “Keep your arms straight! Keep your arms straight!” and because he kept his arms straight, as he hit the gauge, he bumped over it and continued safely out the other side, eventually rolling to a stop at the bottom of the hill. I was so thankful!
We value others because every human being intrinsically holds value, because every individual has a purpose and because we can learn from them.
If you’re not sure about someone’s value, wrestle with it. Allow yourself to stretch and get uncomfortable with the way you think. Come back to that idea of trying to see them through a different perspective.
Realise that how you see them is more a reflection of you than it is of them. Where is their hidden value? What is the story that they carry? What can you learn from interacting with them? As you adjust your perspective of them, the amazing thing is that you are the one who grows. It’s not actually about changing them and their quirks, you have just become more open, less judgmental or more patient. That is progress. Well done.
** Now, regarding images that tell a story. For some of you, there is a story that has been squashed or silenced. I know abuse victims who were told to keep their mouths shut and I know people in my own nation and in nations across the world where the widely told story fails to affirm their dignity. Theirs is a story untold.
On the theme of images and the creator, maybe there is an opportunity here. Maybe the value that you find in that exchange is the chance to tell your story. Maybe the value is going to be the way that your story calls a deep creativity out of you that you didn’t even know was there. Perhaps it is working yourself or with others to create meaningful art that educates those who don’t know what happened. Perhaps you could create an image that at first, newcomers to your story don’t recognise, but over time, we become familiar with it. Maybe it is a written or oral word, maybe it is a song, a dance, a photo or a film or something completely different. Perhaps there is a redemptive edge that could come of your story through something respectfully ‘made in the image’. Just a thought.
