When I was in my twenties, I started to lead worship at church. I loved to worship and I loved God, but I must be honest, when I was up there, there was one person in the congregation that I really wanted to impress. For quite some time the routine went on until that person was away for a while. Once they were away, I could focus on God while I was worshipping. There was a significant difference when I was focusing on God. I learnt what it was to lead people in worship by worshipping myself. When that person came back, I had learnt the lesson and their opinion no longer impacted me.
One of the elders commented about a year later, “When you first started leading, it was a bit flat. But there came a stage where it became a powerful time of worship.” I knew what the change had been. I didn’t enlighten him.
It is really easy to compare ourselves to someone else or seek to get their approval. But, because of that we don’t step into the fullness of who we are in what we are doing. It falls flat.
When we walk with God and engage him in our day to day, others notice. When God is in our day, he shapes it and shapes us. One way that we can tell whether we are walking with God or leading ourselves is to notice whether we are operating out of rest or out of striving.
When we operate out of rest, we know that we are loved and accepted by God as we are and what we do is an outpouring of that. When we operate out of striving, there is some sort of approval that we are seeking – approval of ourselves or approval of our contribution.
When we operate out of rest, we can still work with excellence. It is not a license to be sloppy or lazy. Our heart posture becomes one of sonship. We represent the king and we represent him well. We know that he goes before us and when we spend time in His presence he will give us his ideas to fulfill the purpose for which we were created.
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
Eph 2:10
We can rest in that. God has a purpose for you and for me and he loves to lead us in those things as we walk with him. He intends to impact the world through us for his glory. He is the creator and when we rest in him we have no concern that we will run out of creative ideas. He is our source. He is unlimited. Therefore, we have unlimited creativity available to us. How reassuring!
When we operate out of striving, we worry that we’re not going to measure up. We fear not being enough. We compete with others rather than encourage them. Our whole mental position is one of fear and lack, not the love and abundant creativity that we experience in rest. We run ourselves ragged in constant competition and comparison. It is exhausting.
When we look to others for approval, we will always be striving. People are not a reliable source of our value. On a bad day, they might say something hurtful. They might genuinely not like the style of what we’re doing. If we strive to be accepted by others, we will eventually stop being ourselves and play some sort of role, always hoping to be accepted but never feeling like we’re enough.
That might look like being overly critical of our work or fearful to share who we are with others – hiding who we are or perhaps not even knowing who we are in the first place.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10
If we find ourselves striving and living out of comparison and competition; how do we move into rest? We can bring our worries and fears to God in prayer and allow him to exchange them for something good.
“…to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendour.”
Isaiah 61:3b
The only way to find our true worth is to return to the one who gave us worth in the first place. God knows how you’re wired. He knows your purpose and who you are called to be. He sees who you will become even though you’re not there yet. Most importantly, he loves you right now and wants to be a part of your every day.
When we are walking with God and being ourselves, we fill a spot that was created just for us and we can do those works that God prepared in advance for us to do. We can make a difference and we are not easily swayed by the presence or opinions of others.
He created you uniquely to display his splendour. I encourage you to draw close to Him and allow him to heal those areas that are desperate for approval. What you will find is that you become more yourself – which is very freeing and much easier to maintain – and you will make a greater impact on the world around you.
- This post was origianlly written as a guest post for The Company. The Company’s audience is slightly different to mine, hence the different flavour to this week’s blog.
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