Over the New Year period we played a game. I was ahead. I was three quarters of the way across the board and the other three were all loitering around the first quarter mark. Then it happened. The more experienced player noticed my position on the board and started moving forward. He overtook me just before I reached the finish line. After he finished, we each had one more turn. I was amazed to find that we all reached the finish line even though we played with different strategies.
I played the game earlier and decided this time that although I did need to purchase a few cards at the beginning, my strategy was moving forward even without high value cards – slow and steady wins the race kind of thinking. I noticed that if I spent too much time collecting cards at the beginning I didn’t make progress for a long while. I figured that if I started moving rather than collecting, I might win. Well, I streaked ahead while the others were focused on their own game, but once they noticed me, they caught up fast.
The end goal was to reach the finish line. I worked steadily towards it and reached my goal.
This game stuck in my head for a couple of weeks. All of us are working toward something this year. If you are a regular reader, perhaps you are working on changing your reactions to the challenges of life; becoming unoffendable.
The more experienced player took time at the beginning of his game to build up resources and make sure that he was in a good position for when he wanted to move. But the key thing that he did – that the rest of us didn’t – was he made a point of trashing his original cards. He bought a better version, say, a card that gave him six moves; and he trashed the card with the one move. That meant that when he picked up a card from his hand, he had a higher chance that he would make great gains. He didn’t just add the higher value cards to his repertoire, he chose to get rid of the old way of doing things.
The essence of strategy is choosing what not to do
Michael E. Porter, author of Competitive Strategy
Ironically, the approach of getting rid of the old is the best strategy to win – note that the quote above is from the author of a book called Competitive Strategy. Some of us are hard wired to win or determined to change. If you are determined to see results, discarding your old patterns and ways of doing things will certainly get you to your goals faster.
The other two bought more of the higher value cards than I did, but they didn’t get rid of their original cards. This meant that they might pick up a high value card that gave them six moves, but they were just as likely to pick up a card with one move. Once they started moving, they made faster progress than I did, but I had been moving forward over a longer period, so I got to the finish line earlier. Just earlier. It was a close game.
You might be someone who practises seeing things from a different perspective and valuing others, you apply a little change each week – slowly, slowly, step by step – and that’s great! Over time you are adjusting the way that you go about life. You will still have things to overcome every now and then, but keep at it, you’re making progress.
For others of you, you haven’t actioned much yet, but you’re observing and absorbing new ways of doing things. Perhaps you read and research more widely and soak up as much information as you can on interacting with those around you. Assuming that at some point you begin to apply what you have learnt, you too are making progress – it’s just not visible yet. You are working with a different strategy.
As you begin to apply what you have learnt, some of you will simply add your learnings to what you already know and you will move forward. Others will take the time to evaluate how they have interacted with others in the past and choose to discard some of their old habits and ways of doing things. You too will make great progress this year – perhaps in leaps and bounds.
You might look at those around you using a different strategy and judge their process as better or worse than yours. That is competitive and doesn’t necessarily benefit anyone outside of a game or business setting.
If you’re competitor-focused, you have to wait until there is a competitor doing something. Being customer-focused allows you to be more pioneering.
Jeff Bezos, Founder & CEO of Amazon
Seeing that we are not a business, take the quote above and modify it from customer focused to outcome focused: “If you’re competitor-focused, you have to wait until there is a competitor doing something. Being outcome-focused allows you to be more pioneering”.
My takeaway from the game is that if you take competition out of the equation, there are many ways to reach a goal. In life, it’s not necessarily helpful to compare ourselves with others. Comparison can end up paralysing us.
You have your own way of going about things. Keep your outcome in mind and work towards it at your own pace. Life is not a competition. We all have a unique story.
The reality is that we’re all making progress on our journey. You might learn to improve how you interact with others really quickly; others may take more time. If you are working toward becoming unoffendable, whatever your strategy and whether you are a newbie or an old hand, then, yay! Well done you!
